LT Community Guidelines
Thank you for taking the time to read the community guidelines.
We are committed to creating a safe, creative common space with you. By participating in the forum and community spaces, you agree to abide by the following guidelines.
Code of Conduct:
We abide in the Natural Law principle of non-aggression, also known as do no harm, or the Golden Rule. This is the guiding principle of our code of conduct. Anyone who violates another's rights, including right to privacy, will be removed from the site. Membership is a privilege. The site administrator reserves the right to cancel anyone's membership at any time.
If you feel someone has violated your privacy, violated your consent boundary, or has directed inappropriate comments or attention at you, please let that person know. If you are unable to resolve the issue one-on-one, or if you don’t feel safe attempting to resolve the issue directly with the other member, please reach out to Tatiana.
The forums are only viewable by members. In order to unlock the massive power of our group intention, it's really important that each of us feels safe to reveal our own souls on the forum and on any group calls.
DO NOT SHARE personal information about anyone in this forum or on the calls with anyone outside the group without the member's express permission.
Sharing a member’s personal information or anecdotal information that results in a member’s privacy being violated will be grounds for immediate membership cancellation.
Posting / Sharing Guidelines:
When posting in the forum or sharing on a call, please remember the injunction in the Hippocratic Oath to "abstain from doing harm." We each have the power to heal ourselves and transform our lives. What we need from our community is:
To be seen and accepted for who we are.
To have a safe space where we can heal from old trauma, deprogram ourselves from limiting beliefs, and share our creative ideas.
Inspiration. This includes encouragement and kindness.
When posting on the forum or participating in live calls, please honor participants' consent boundaries by observing these basic guidelines:
1. Don’t give advice or instruction. This is the “no cross talk” guideline that is foundational to recovery groups. (See specific examples below of helpful vs. non-helpful communication.) Far more effective than giving someone advice is opening your heart and validating their experience by sharing your own experience.
The lead facilitator/instructor, Tatiana, is here to hold space, share teachings, and to give counsel or help to participants when appropriate.
2. Don’t offer a critique of another member’s work unless that member has specifically invited you to do so.
3. Do not give psychic readings to, or do energy work for, anyone who has not explicitly asked you to do so.
If you want to give another member your prayers, a lightwork session, healing, reading, or anything of the sort, reach out to the member and get their permission first.
If you find yourself feeling compelled to “help” in the ways described above, take a moment to reflect on what is coming up for you and how you can work with that within your own psyche.
4. When posting or sharing, be aware of the emotional space you are sharing from.
Posting from a grounded, centered space within yourself will benefit you and the rest of us much more than using the forum as a place to vent emotions you don't want to feel.
We all get triggered and we all go through difficult times. It's OK to share your experiences, including the hard, heavy stuff. But don't dump your emotions on the community. Work through your stuff, ask for help if you need it, and then share.
Thank you for reading and for keeping our shared space sacred.
If you have comments or suggestions for the community guidelines, or anything else for that matter, we'd love to hear all about it. It takes a community to build a community space!
Below you'll find examples of helpful ways of communicating with other members in the common spaces in the LT forum or on calls.
Examples of How to Share or Respond in Ways That Create a Powerful Group Healing Dynamic
Example: Someone posts a new topic saying she can mentally see a parental drama that keeps playing out in her adult life and sabotaging her relationships, but she can't seem to connect to it in a way that enables her to move through it.
These are NOT helpful responses:
1. "You should do X; that always works for me"
2. "You should listen to / watch / read ______ by (Deepak Chopra, Liz Gilbert, etc.)
3. "It sounds like you're not really be honest with yourself about what happened in your family of origin."
4. "You know, whenever I have a problem like that I just: give it to the Lord / do two hours of hot yoga / dedicate an hour of compassion meditation to all the suffering creatures in the world."
The first and last answers are coming from a "one-up" position: The use of should in the first answer, and the humble-brag in the last answer both convey the message: "I'm more advanced than you and I know what's best for you."
Meeting someone’s vulnerability with an air of moral superiority is a sure-fire way to discourage open communication.
Response #2 probably comes from a genuine desire to be helpful. But (a) the respondent is “shoulding” on the poster; (b) the respondent is assuming that the poster hasn’t already read those books; and (c) the respondent is making the assumption that what worked for them must also work for others.
Response #3 is shaming and blaming: "If you had more courage, you would admit you were abused, etc."
Responses that help create a positive group dynamic for all:
2. Validating the poster’s experience and offering encouragement
3. Being vulnerable and sharing your own experience
An example of mirroring:
"Wow, I can understand about parent stuff sabotaging adult relationships. My dad abused me when I was young and it has taken a long time for me to feel like I'm even starting to understand what intimacy is and be available for it in my relationship."
An example of validating and encouraging:
“I’m sorry to hear that you feel stuck in that self-sabotage pattern! We all have some form of that from childhood, right? But it sounds like you’re really committed to working through it so I know you’re going to heal this!”
An example of vulnerability and sharing your experience:
If you feel you can help the person who shared their issue because you have found a way of working through a similar issue, share your own experience. (As opposed to telling them what to do.)
"Wow, I can understand that. I really had a hard time feeling my anger in my body about the way my dad abused me. I had all of this anger against my dad that was so deep down I didn’t even know was in me. I kept attracting angry relationship partners – my relationships were horrible. And then one day I realized I was just as angry as they were.
"Luckily, a friend told me about inner child work and I started on this journey to learning how to express my anger in healthy ways. What I learned is that when I allow my inner child to feel angry, I don't need to bring it into my relationship. I can't say I remember to do this every time I get triggered, but the more I do this the better my relationship gets. I know that if you keep working on this issue, you'll find what works for you!"
"PS - PM me if you want to talk more about the inner child stuff, or just trade stories!"
Thanks again for reading and for being a part of the Lightworker Training community!